Category: Relationships

Dora the Petsplorer

Every time I look at Dora’s backpack in the coloring book, all I can see is a great big tongue. You know what else is basically a great big tongue? A dog. Combine the two, and you have Dora shrieking with delight… not that she ever does anything else. Ugh.



Darth Vader finds love


The caption is what totally makes me go WTF here. Revenge for what? Are they rubbing it in the faces of those stodgy Jedi who oppose Sith marriage rights? Are they teaming up to dish out some Bonnie-and-Clyde-style justice on an enemy? Is one of them rashly getting married just to piss off their parents?

Any way you slice it, Palpatine makes one beautiful blushing bride.


Codependent Piglet

I really hate connect-the-dots activities. They always try to make you create round objects, which look horrible in the end because you’re drawing a series of straight lines, for god’s sake. You end up making some strange polygon out of a shape that was totally obvious to begin with. I mean, let’s have a show of hands here: have you ever genuinely thought, after connecting the last dot, “Whoa, that shape was totally NOT what I was expecting!” I didn’t think so.

The only thing left to do to a page like that is… corrupt it. I’ll be damned if The Man is going to tell me where to draw my lines.